Marriage is not a magic formula for happiness. Its success depends very much on what both partners are prepared to put into it. But some marriages may be more stressed than others just because one or both partners had negative reasons for getting married in the first place. They saw the relationship as an escape from a difficult situation.

A young girl with strict parents, for instance, may see marriage as a way to gain freedom and independence. Once married, she may then find that the continuous adaptation to another person’s needs within a marriage is even more irksome than parental restrictions.

Some people marry simply for security. They lack confidence in many areas ad see their partner as a strong person, providing constant emotional support. Trouble arises when the partner in turn looks to them for support in a crisis. They become frightened and panic, and the relationship may founder.

Again, those with low self-esteem may marry the first person who comes along, not because they have a lot in common but because they are afraid no one else will show any interest in them. As they mature and gain in confidence they may feel trapped by the person who at first seemed to offer a solution.

All marriages go through bad patches, and there may be times when the problems seem insurmountable. If there is a genuine desire on both sides to make the relationship work, these episodes can in fact be used to strengthen the marriage and to increase trust and understanding.

Contrary to popular belief, marriage is not on the way out, For most people, the ideal marriage still remains of a deep and lasting relationship with one person with whom they share a home, and perhaps the possibility of children. In many ways, people today have higher expectations of marriage than ever before. And it is the gap between these expectations and reality that can lead to marriage problems and even the breakdown of a marriage relationship. People are confused about what marriage involves nowadays because the roles of husband and wife are no longer clearly defined. Thirty years ago the conventional marriage partnership was one where the husband was the main bread-winner and the wife was responsible for the home and children. Now a different type of marriage is emerging where roles are more equal and interchangeable.

Where such an arrangement works it can be extremely rewarding for both partners, but because it is breaking new ground,  marriage is at present fraught with difficulty. It is the sort of issue couples should look at carefully before they get married so that they can both try to understand the implications of whatever arrangements they decide to make before ending the marriage relationship. There is, of course, room for many different ways of sharing. The main thing is that both partners should be happy with the roles they have chosen, and both remain flexible and open to change.

Ignoring the warning signs

There is a romantic idea that people marry because they fall in love and are convinced that they are right for each other in every way. But discussions with people whose marriages have broken up often reveal that there were warning signs right from the beginning of the marriage relationship, and that one of the partners had reservations about going ahead.

Many people are over-optimistic. Although they know that their prospective partner drinks too much, is mean or extravagant with money, they imagine that everything will change with marriage-the chances are it will not.

We all have an image of the sort of person we want as a partner and a common mistake is to invest someone we care about with all sorts of qualities and attributes which they do not in fact possess. Then if they do not match up to our expectations, we feel let down. But the fault is ours in looking for an ideal person to fill our needs and compensate for our failings, rather than a real person with faults and needs like ourselves.

It is a fact that in most of the time other people will be more alert than you do, thus it is important to recognize the manic depression in yourself  :

• You may well be too despondent to care when you are down or too carefree to believe it when your are elated.
• After a while, you may realize that you are subject to extreme swings of mood. You may even be able to predict them and be able to take appropriate medical or other action.
• You may notice that you sometimes feel both elated and depressed at the same time However odd this may seem, it is a very clear indication of manic depression, especially if the feeling lasts for a day or two.
• You will certainly notice the mood swings from elation to depression.
• You must watch that “taking the strain” for the person doesn’t produce stress problems in yourself.
• You should look after the administration of any drugs, since the person will forget when he or she is elated and will be uncaring when feeling depressed.

Patients who are in the manic or depressive phase of the cycle are usually not dangerous to others, but living with them is not very easy. However, patients may become a danger to themselves if the condition is untreated: for instance, they can become undernourished through lack of time or will to eat.

The mania of manic depression will most certainly need psychiatric treatment, though hospitalization will only occur in extreme cases. Drugs will generally also be used, both to help lift any depression and to reduce the intensity of the manic episodes. In some cases, the moods are treated separately, using tricyclic anti-depressants or monomine oxidase inhibitors to control the depressive swings, and sedatives and tranquillizers to control episodes of mania.

Lithium carbonate has also been found to be beneficial because it stabilizes the ups and downs of the manic-depressive cycle. Different drugs have to be tried for suitability.

There is still much to be learned about manic depression, and it may be better to speak of treatment rather than cure. However, many people with the manic depression condition have learned to watch for early signs of moods swings and take appropriate medical action. In this way, they may be able to learn to cope successfully with the condition and lead a reasonably normal life.

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People whose moods swing wildly from intense elation to severe depression may be suffering from a condition known as manic depression. Drugs and psychiatric care will help stabilize the condition.

Manic depression is a severe mental disturbance. The condition is referred to as manic-depressive psychosis, regardless of whether the full swing between mania and depression is shown.

Manic depression is an affective psychosis: that is, the patient becomes carried away by his or her emotions, either from habit, or in an effort to conceal anxiety and shyness. Manic depressives are often reserved, inward looking, emotionally sensitive personalities, even though during the manic phase their behaviour takes on a very extrovert form. In some cases there may be a religious element in the condition.

One possible cause is a defect in the hormonal mechanisms that control the balance of our emotions. Two chemicals present in the brain influence mood: a low level of one, serotonin, may produce mood instabilities in general, while an imbalance of the second chemical, norepinephrine, determines the direction of the mood swing, a low level being associated with depression and a high level producing mania.

Normally, manic depression arises without any causal stress, but it is possible that external factors such as outside tension, abnormal patterns of upbringing or unconventional attitudes may actually stimulate the brain to produce the chemicals which give rise to the mood swings.

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